Just home from a good friend’s surprise baby shower. It was a lot of fun to see the girls again! High school girlfriends!
My friend is due in less than a month. I have another good friend who is pregnant… though she hasn’t told me… and one of my BFFs is trying.
Here’s what. I want to be a mom. I am one, a pupper mom, but I would really truly love to have a human child. I want John to be a dad and I know he really wants to be. We’ve been married for almost 8 years and, of course, have talked about it often enough. Last fall, I wanted to do it. I wanted to try. I bought each of us little baby booties for inspiration. I put mine on my desk and John put his in his backpack. That was last September.
We didn’t start trying. We can’t. We can’t afford it. Go ahead, say it… “No one can afford it.” We actually can’t afford it. We are two self-employed musicians who live our work and work our life and are in the same band that goes on the road at the same time for 1-3 weeks at a time. Can you say nanny on the road? Can you say bigger touring vehicle and extra hotel room? Can you say… …how much does a full-time nanny even cost??
We didn’t try. I truly love what I do, but sometimes I find myself saying “I wish.” I try not to wish too much. Wishes can get out of hand. We chose this life and love it. I wouldn’t trade my experiences for the world. I just catch myself feelings pangs of jealousy when my friends are talking about babies and pregnancy and play dates and things kids say. It can just hurt a bit now and again.
John asked me to get something out of his backpack about a month ago. I don’t know, a 5-hr Energy or something… I pulled out one of the booties. I stared at it for a couple silent seconds and then, I cried.
Bathroom sink needs Drano… … KNEW I shouldn’t have pooped in it!
That hardened ridge that forms in your nose and you can just stick your thumbnail in and slide the ridge right out… priceless.
A woman who can access 100% of her brain and, naturally, goes to kill everyone. Got it.